“Do not be afraid.”
Personally, I feel afraid quite often. I’m not the natural leader type or the type that likes the spotlight, yet I do a job (pastor) that I have to stand in front of a group of people to essentially give a speech every week. Sometimes people ask if I get nervous before preaching, I tell them EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK. To which many of them are surprised and tell me that it doesn’t look like it.
I assure you though, every week before I preach, every Saturday night as I finish up what I will preach, every leaders meeting I lead, even every single time I go out to eat with people I feel afraid or at least a bit nervous. Essentially, it feels like a type of social anxiety I think. Sometimes I dread to even go just hang out with a group of people or go to house church because I fear rejection. In other words, I feel uncomfortable a LOT of the time I am around people other than immediate family. I would much rather go home and be alone.
Yet, as a pastor I can not do that. I HAVE to meet with people, with groups, and talk to large groups of people. So am I just living in constant fear and miserable for most of my life?
No…there are some truths that I remind myself of as a way to face fear and do what I need to do.
- First, I remind myself God is always with me.
Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua is about to take on the impossible… replace MOSES. How do you replace the one who led the people out of Egypt, used to part the Red Sea, and destroy Pharaoh’s army, and instrumental in miracle after miracle that make up the core of Israelite identity? It was an impossible task for him to fill. Joshua knew that, and God knows that Joshua knows that. That’s why in that first chapter alone God tells him 4 times to be courageous.
So does God mean, just muster up the courage you have and find it within yourself? No. The key is in v.9 “for the Lord your God will be with you.” Joshua, you can be strong and courageous because the Most High God, the same God who took down Pharaoh and was the true power behind all of Moses’ miracles, is also with you.
Fast forward to Matthew 28:18–20, now the Greater Moses is leaving and the disciples were being charged to take his place in continuing the ministry. How do you fill the shoes of the Messiah? Answer is you don’t. Christ fills Christ’s shoes. That is why after charging them to go into all the world, He assures them “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Again, God’s promise to always be present with them is their source of courage and ours today.
Sometimes when I’m about to do something difficult, I feel a little bit more strength and little bit more courage if my wife is with me. It’s because I know she has unconditional love for me and no matter how it turns out she will be supporting me. The problem is my wife can’t always be where I am. But God can. In those moments, I remind myself, I turn to Him, I call to Him for help, and courage is found.
2. Remember the definition of courage.
I remember hearing this attributed to Mark Twain but perhaps it is from another source. But that quote defined courage as “not the absence of fear, but acting in spite of it.”
Remembering this definition has been freeing for me when I feel afraid. Why? Because it showed me that there’s nothing wrong with having some fear. It’s not a problem or that something is wrong with me to have some fear. And that true courage is acting even though you are still afraid.
This makes sense doesn’t it? If a person was not afraid of heights and then jumps out of an airplane to skydive is that really courage? I think not. But if a person is deathly afraid of crossing a bridge (true story) yet is able to eek his way across by praying to God the whole time, then that is true act of courage.
Now when I am fearful, I remember that it is an opportunity to show courage, not a sign that I’m lacking courage.
3. Remember Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote “Do one thing everyday that scares you.”
I love this quote and think of it often when I’m nervous. Why is it helpful? Because now every time I’m anxious or scared I know it’s because I’m about to do something that is worthwhile. Maybe I’m about to preach or lead a meeting and I’m getting nervous, this quote reminds me that the reason I’m nervous is because I’m about to do something important. My discomfort means that I’m about to do something outside my comfort zone. And if I’m about to do something outside my comfort zone then it means God is stretching me and growing me in a way I could never do in my own comfort and strength and familiarity. When I’m nervous it means God is trying to level me up. Now the nervousness I felt is a positive thing. It it is a sign of growth.
4. This one is my favorite and most helpful truth. My mentor Scott Patty, once shared how even after 25 years of pastoring he still gets nervous before every single Sunday sermon. I was shocked to hear this. He felt the same as me! I thought surely someone of his spiritual maturity and competency would feel like this is a cake walk after all these years but he still struggles with it.
He then went into glorious detail about his weakness. He shared how some Sunday mornings he’ll be in the shower… and stay in the shower…and stay in the shower. Until his wife, who knows what’s going on, will remark “Honey, are you coming out today?” He was stalling in the shower because of fear! But how does he get out of the shower each week? By faith…
He reminded us that the Christian life is lived by faith not by sight. Faith means relying on God’s strength not your own. So while in the shower, stalling (dad joke here), he’ll ask God “Lord help me get out of the shower.” And by relying on God, God gives him enough courage to get out of the shower. Then he asks God, “Lord help me to get dressed.” And by faith he gets dressed. Then by faith he gets in the car, and by faith he goes up to church and preaches on Sunday morning.
Whenever, I am afraid, this is what helps me the most. I call out to God “Help Lord, please help me to preach. By faith, I will preach today.” “Lord, please help me lead this meeting. By faith I can lead this meeting today.” “Lord, please help me to go to house church. By faith, I will go to house church again.” “Lord, please help me go eat with others and hang out with them. By faith I will be social with others.” And by faith, He gives me the strength and courage every time. Praise be to God.
